Host Club Chat
by moyoki
Summary: Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: ARE YOU THERE?/WHY ARE YOU IGNORING US!11?/ ! Haruhi stared, awestruck. Could they be any more stupid? - ONESHOT chatfic!


Sighing, Haruhi turned on her computer. Why did the school have to give her so much homework? She'd never done homework the laptop the twins gave her before, so she thought she might as well try it for once. Staring at the obnoxiously pink welcome screen, she read the words aloud.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HA..UHI?" she said, confused. So they couldn't even spell her name?

She fiddled around; looking for a program she could type a two thousand word essay on antiques on. "I can't find anything!" she frowned. "_This_ is why I prefer handwriting all my assignments," she sighed.A flashing tab near the bottom of the screen caught her eye. Curious, she clicked on it.

"I can't believe those two!" she cried, as she read the window on the screen."They made me an email address! And they called it haruhi_princess_555!"

"This is a total waste of time, I'm just going to shut it off," she told herself, fingers already closed around the lid. She was about to press the 'switch off' button when another flashing window popped up.

_Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: HEY HARUHI! _

Haruhi stared. Could this get any worse?

_haruhi_princess_ : What do you two want now?  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: Can't you even say hi to us? :(  
haruhi_princess_ : Fine, hello. What do you want? And how do I change it from haruhi_princess? You two made the worst email address ever!  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: Kekekeke ;)  
haruhi_princess_ : How can I change it?  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: Just go to options!_

"How the heck am I meant to know what options are!" she asked. She clicked around, and eventually found a box where she could change her, 'screen name.'

When she closed the little box, she found that Hikaru and Kaoru had sent her more messages.

_Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: HARUHI!  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: HARUHIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: WHERE ARE YOU HARUHIIIIIIIIIIII!111111111111  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: HELLO? HARUHIIIIiiiiIiiiIiiIIIII?  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: ARE YOU THERE?/  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: WHY ARE YOU IGNORING US!11?/ :(  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: !111  
Haruhi: What! Stop spamming me!  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: Where'd you go :(_

Haruhi stared, awestruck. Could they be any more stupid?

_Haruhi: I was changing my screen name!  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: Why'd you take so long! ;w;  
Haruhi: Whatever. What can I use to write up my assignment?  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: Not telling._

Yup, they were definitely idiots.

_Haruhi: Um, what? I just need to know what program I can use to type up my essay!  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: Yeah, we know. But we won't tell you. c:_

Yeah, if you wanted the real deal, you couldn't get it any better than this. 100% pure imbecile, right here.

_Haruhi: How can I get you to tell me?  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: We'll play the, "Guess Which One Is Hikaru!" game!  
Haruhi: How the hell am I meant to play that? We're talking online!  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: You need to be smart. If you're smart, you'll know which one it is!  
Haruhi: ….  
Haruhi: I don't have time for this. I'll just ask Tamaki-sempai or something. Bye!  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: NOOOOOOOOOOO! HAAAAAARUUUHIIIIIIIIIIII!111111111111 DON'T LEAVE US FOR MILORD!  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: COME BAAAAAACK! ;w;  
Haruhi: ….._

"I guess I'll just have to guess then," she frowned.

_Haruhi: Right now I'm talking to Hikaru.  
__Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: …  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: …..  
__Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: …  
Haruhi: I'm right, aren't I.  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: How'd you know? :(_

Haruhi wondered how she knew.

_Haruhi: Well, I bet its Hikaru hogging the computer right now. Kaoru will just be following along with it, though.  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: …. She's psychic.  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: You can just use Writeup! to type up your essay._

Finally, a proper answer!

_Haruhi: Okay, thanks. Bye now!  
Hikaru & Kaoru Hitachiin: NOOOOOO! HARUUUHI! DON'T LEAVE USSSSSS!_

_[Notice: Do you wish to log out? You will end all current conversations!]  
[Yes] [No]_

Haruhi pressed yes. She sighed in relief.

"Now I actually have time to do my essay!" she sat down with a pen, and a piece of lined paper.

But Haruhi didn't know the terror that was waiting for her the next day.

_[New message from Suou Tamaki!]_

**Hey thanks for reading c: I hope you liked it and that it's hopefully something different! I'm thinking of maybe changing it from a one-shot to chapters, and each chapter is conversations between different host club members! Review and tell me what you think c:**

**~ Moyo-chanx3**

**March 2011 update:**

**I re-read this, and found amusing little mistakes here and there. And being the perfectionist I am, I rewrote some sentences and the format of some things. The story is exactly the same now, though! C:**

**Moyoki**


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